For You
by BaderLane
Summary: In a time where evil constantly looms above, threatening to take away all hope and courage, two people discover strength and weakness in each other where they thought there was none.
1. Chapter 1

One Somewhat Cordial

Lily Evans rolled her eyes as Slughorn made a fuss over her potion-making skills in front of the class- once again.

"Really, it's such a shame you weren't in Slytherin, my girl. Such talent could certainly aid us in gaining that House cup the Gryffindor's seem to snatch away from us every year!"

Lily forced a smile. "It's not the talent that's keeping you from getting the cup, Professor." She cast a glare in Lestrange's direction. "It's the people."

Slughorn paused in a slight shock as the Gryffindor's laughed, and then broke out in a broad grin.

"You've got a nerve, Evans!" he laughed. "Just the kind of wit that we- Oh, well, never mind.Wouldn't want to suffer another painful blow, would I?"

Evans smiled sweetly and shrugged, then forced herself to look away, wanting that to be the end of it.

Slughorn apparently thought so too. "Today, class, we'll be undertaking a project which will be worth over 50 of your total mark in the OWL class. You are to invent a potion with magical capabilities, using a limited amount of ingredients, which must also have a beneficial consequence to the issue you will be assigned. You will also be required to catalogue your development into a detailed report, as well as test and present it to the class."

In response to the murmurs rippling throughout the class, Slughorn raised his voice, pulling out a sheet of parchment.

"You will accomplish this in pairs, which I have assigned myself, and the potion will be cue and ready for testing by January the twenty-first." He held the parchment out at arms' length and began to read off names.

He had been kind enough to pair Potter with Black, as they would have made any kind of partner work with anyone else extremely difficult, especially for Lily. However, there was another person she'd have preferred not to be paired with, and he hadn't yet been called on.

Severus Snape sat alone in the corner of the dungeon, sullen and bitter looking as ever as each of the dimwitted idiots he usually paired himself with was given a partner. Lily knew he preferred it that way, as it gave him full reign of each project, and no one to get in the way. Sighing to herself, she knew it would very much like Slughorn to pair the two of them, as they were both top in the class for potions, and laugh with that superior, name-dropping complex he had: "I thought it fitting to have two of Hogwarts' best paired together!" Just as the thought crossed her mind and Lily suppressed the grimace she felt developing at the thought of the embarrassment that statement would cause, her name was called.

"And I've paired Lily Evans with... Severus Snape!"

Lily expelled the breath she'd been holding and closed her eyes as if pained.

"I thought it fitting," Slughorn chuckled knowingly, "to have Hogwarts' two best sixth year students partnered up. I can hardly wait to see what the two of you concoct together!"

Still chuckling, Slughorn proceeded to read the list, though Lily wasn't listening. She'd already opened her eyes, and glanced at Snape, who looked as if he'd been forced to eat something very sour.

Oh, get over it, Lily thought angrily. God forbid you have to actually work with someone with brains for a change!

"Now, we have ah, ten minutes left of class. Take this time to collaborate with your partners about your projects. You'll not get any more class time for this, mind, as it is an outside class project, so use it wisely!"

Lily waited for Snape to rise and sit with her, but he seemed to be abnormally reluctant to move, so she sigh, collected her books and joined him in the corner.

"So I guess we'll be working with each other, huh?"

Snape stared hard at her. "You're ability to surmise the situation, even though it's already happened, astounds me."

"Yeah..." Lily flopped down abruptly on the stool beside him and stared hard back. "Well then, you get astounded much too easily."

"I see." Snape sounded almost amused. "Your attempt at intimidation is impressive, especially since you skipped the 'I'm Slughorn's favourite' part and moved in right for the kill."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "You're a lot more outspoken right side up than when you're upside down, aren't you." At the look on his face, she opened her mouth to apologize, but he cut her off, his face hardened.

"Look, I want more than what you would consider a 'good' mark on this project."

Lily, who had turned to face the front and rummage in her bag glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "I'm sure that won't be a problem."

"Well I'm not quite as, ah, confident about that as you are, Evans." He wasn't looking at her; it was as if he were thinking rather than speaking.

"What would you propose we do?" Lily asked politely, now deciding she wanted the bulk of this three week project to be at least somewhat cordial.

"I do all the work, you neatly print your name at the top of the page. Before mine, if it pleases you." He was sneering now, obviously used to having these sort of things his way.

Lily didn't look at him, but instead continued to rummage.

"See, that doesn't work for me. Unlike a lot of the half-witted baboons you usually have as partners, undoubtedly only so you can have full reign of the goings on, I prefer to learn from these projects, and earn the marks I get."

She felt him stiffen beside her, and the tip of his quill broke as he pressed it to the paper.

"Unfortunately, I have a problem with that."

"Unfortunately, that's your problem," she retorted as the bell rang, gathering up her things and shoving them into her bag.

"We'll meet next week- Wednesday night sound good?- and discuss the ingredients. I swear, Severus- if anything is done to this project that I haven't either agreed to or helped with, there will be hell to pay."

Snape merely raised an eyebrow. "I suppose you find your muggle originated, religiously referenced threats frightening? Or perhaps, superior?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Just make sure you remember next week, alright?" Without another word, she exited, feeling only slightly smug that she'd had the last word.

As the days went by, getting closer and closer to the Wednesday night that Lily and Snape had 'agreed' upon to meet in the library, Lily found herself dreading the thought of spending two hours in the library with Snape. He wasn't all bad, and she found sometimes she was grateful there was a worth adversary within the school on whom she could vent her sarcastic remarks. It was actually only during potions that he became unbearable, sneering in her direction every time Slughorn mentioned her and mocking her quietly to whatever thick-headed henchman he had 'working' with him at the time. Other times he was very nearly tolerable, and even had the habit of nodding at her if they met in the corridors.

Lily suspected the suppressed acknowledgment came from his gratitude in her sticking up for him when Pothole and Bleak found themselves without anything to do, although he nearly always became cross when she did. They never really spoke about it, unless one counted the time he'd called her a mudblood and had ended up completely exposed to a large group of onlookers.

Lily, furious with him as well as herself, had watched from a safe distance, appalled at what had occurred once she'd left, and continued to watch as the laughter and crowd eventually subsided, Snape dropped from the air and Potter and Black had walked up to him, bent down, and said something before walking away, laughing. Snape had disentangled himself and made a wild run for the castle, but as he drew closer, Lily had stepped out into his way.

He'd stopped short, but refused to look in her eyes.

"Well?" Lily had demanded.

"I suppose you want a medal?" Snape had asked, slightly pink around the cheeks.

"Maybe, after you apologize."

"Well you then you should wait before you get out your Fleetwood's polish," he'd brushed past her then, but Lily wasn't done.

"How does it make you feel when they do that? Huh?"

At that Snape had stopped, though he hadn't turned around.

"Low, maybe? Ashamed? Mortified?"

Lily had said this while walking around to face him again, and was angrier than she could remember being.

"Welcome to my world, every time someone calls me that. I know it's stupid, because the entire premise for it is completely idiotic and basically just meant to be malicious, but the fact of the matter is, I have to stand there while other people think about it. While they stare at me. I know you don't like it, so how about you take that into consideration before you open your mouth again?"

She'd expected a mere shrug and a walk past again, but instead, Snape had looked up at her.

"So you felt low, and ashamed, and mortified? Try being me when the Slytherins hear about how a muggle-born girl had to stand for me in front of Potter. Then try it when your uncle hears about it and decides to send you a Howler. Try sitting through that, then you'll know low."

He's chosen that moment to leave, then stopped again and turned back to a speechless Lily.

"I didn't mean to rhyme. It came out like that. Just pretend I said ashamed instead."

Not knowing whether to laugh or not, Lily nodded and watched him enter the castle without another word.

"Why not just split the work?" Gretchen, Lily's friend from Ravenclaw asked over dinner. "That's what Jed and I are doing. That way I don't have to watch him staring at me with that creepy, sad kind of smile he has."

Lily laughed as she finished her ham and chicken pie and reached for the pudding.

"Funny thing is, we went over that already... sort of. He wanted to do all the work and have me sign my name... that's kind of splitting it, right? 90-10?"

"More like 99-1," Marla, who shared a dormitory with Lily, quipped. Marla had a problem with Snape, ever since he'd refused to act as message boy between her and his friend Rosier. The scene was long over, but the bitterness remained. Marla enjoyed holding grudges.

"Bloody great prat. Of course he would think you weren't capable of doing the work- prejudiced wanker."

"Hey now," Lily joked, spooning large amounts of cherry cobbler onto her plate, "take it easy there, Marla. Wouldn't want you to give yourself a tummy ache."

"You just let me know if he says anything out of line," Marla ordered, now spooning out her own cobbler, "I'll set him straight for you."

"Thanks, but I need him for until January twenty-first," Lily said as she stood up and grabbed her bag. "Well, wish me luck."

Lily entered the library a few minutes early, to find Snape already there, surrounded by large stacks of books.

"Hello," Lily said slowly, setting her bag down on a chair. "What's all this?"

"I took the liberty on selecting a few books I thought would aid us in the construction of our potion."

"But... we haven't even picked out our topic yet," Lily said, even more slowly than before. She couldn't believe he'd already started taking over their project. "How do you know which books to use?"

"Before you start hurling muggle religion-related threats at me, I know what our issue for the potion to solve is, as it's on our instruction sheet. I merely located books that offered information regarding it."

Lily felt herself go red.

"Oh, well, right then. Let's see."

Surprisingly, they worked well together, with very little bickering, mostly due to the fact that they both wanted very good marks on the project. They met once a week and researched their issue, which was Stealth in the Company of Danger (they had both decided that meant they needed to concoct a potion for staying hidden, and had narrowed the possibilities and difficulties to an invisibility potion), and by December had made their list of ingredients and their method of brewing it. Lily was impressed on how well he kept the books, cataloguing nearly everything said and decided, everything read and written down. Together they collected each ingredient needed, and, after much reference toward other potions books, as well as the knowledge they possessed of their own experiences in potion making, had created their own recipe leaflet. They agreed that the first Wednesday of December they would meet in a private dungeon, designated mainly for remedial potions classes, and begin the actual process of creation.

"We need that Verial root now, the one that's supposed to aid in various forms of invisibility," she murmured, reaching for the root, peering into the cauldron, stirring clockwise four times.

"Well how much do you think we'll need?" Severus wondered, reaching for it as well, not taking his eyes off the leaflet.

The dungeon was cold but perfect for what they were doing. Slughorn was thrilled to hear of their progress. They were, as he had stated so excitedly, far more accomplished than the other pairs, who were only just creating their ingredient lists. Lily and Severus had only just started, but were very sure of what they were doing. What's more, Severus had taken to asking her opinion on things rather than simply ordering her and attempting to take over.

Reaching for the root, Lily beat him to it, but only by a moment, just enough for his hand to touch the back of hers, rather than the root he'd been expecting. There was a pause, as awkward as anyone could imagine, where they both yanked away from the root, then both attempted for it again, with nearly the same result.

"You take it and cut it up," Lily ordered casually.

"Right," he replied, "d'you suppose lengthwise or horizontally?"

"A bit of both. Small enough pieces for us to be able to store it in that jar," she said, turning the page.

Severus glanced at her, then exhaled, relieved.

Time passed quickly with a few weeks of slow and deliberate brewing. Before they knew it, December was upon them. They were entering the final stage of the first part of brewing their potion, adding the last few ingredients before leaving it to stew over the holidays. Lily arrived first and retrieved the cauldron from the cupboard where they were allowed to store it. Setting it on the counter, she proceeded to take out the ingredients they'd organized into jars and set them aside as well. Behind her, the door opened.

"About time you got here," Lily said without turning around. "I got here before you for a change- you're losing your touch."

Then, as Lily leaned forward to check the fire they'd charmed to keep burning, a hand wrapped around her mouth without warning and pulled her back so that she couldn't move.

Lily gasped, but because of the imposing hand, couldn't breathe through her mouth. Lily struggled furiously, against her attacker, and managed, during the squirming, to get a hold of her wand. Pulling it from her robes quickly, Lily jabbed it into the first soft place she could feel behind her and thought 'stupefy!' Her captor released her with a yell- a yell that was all too familiar.

Lily broke away and grabbed at the counter for support before turning to look upon a stunned James Potter.

Lily, shaking, revived him, but kept her wand out.

"Cheers, Evans," Potter said weakly, trying to get to his feet.

"What did you mean by it?" she demanded, her eyes blazing.

"Mean by what? Oh," he chuckled arrogantly, "that. I was just coming in to get my potion and thought I'd give you a bit of a scare, you know- keep you on your toes."

Lily drew in a slow breath as Potter took a step closer to her, wearing his signature lop-sided grin, and brushed a bit of hair that had fallen in front of her face during the struggle.

"Don't touch me!" Lily snapped, backing up into the counter.

Potter put his hands up in surrender, but didn't move, or change his grin.

"Go out with me," he said with a smirk, meeting her furious green eyes with his own hazel ones.

"Get the hell away from me," she growled, still gripping her wand.

"I will if you go out with me," he offered, putting his hands casually on his head.

"What is it with you?" Lily burst angrily, stepping forward in confrontation. "You don't really care- it's the chase for you, isn't it?"

Potter looked slightly taken aback, but hid it quickly. "Well, I mean- it's fun, isn't it?"

"Not for me," Lily told him icily.

"I could make it fun for you," Potter offered, eyeing her copper hair.

"Stop harvesting me with your eyes!" Lily snarled, shoving him hard. Potter allowed himself to stumble back, but continued to grin.

"You don't get it, do you? I find you disgusting! You're sketchy and creepy and arrogant- what part of that sounds attractive to you?"

Potter didn't offer an answer.

"So why don't you go settle for one of the girls that, for some reason, find you appealing, and leave me ALONE!"

As soon as she yelled it, there was a flash of red and someone yelled at the same time "Stupefy!"

Potter fell to the floor, unmoving. When he fell, he revealed, standing in the doorway, a very angry-looking Severus.

He and Lily stared at Potter for a moment, then back at each other.

"Are you alright?" He asked from where he stood, his eyes sweeping briefly over her.

"Yeah, um, you got here a little late with that one," Lily muttered, bending to examine Potter. "That's twice in the last five minutes he's been stunned."

"Deserves it, bloody git," Severus growled, bending to examine him as well. Both looked up at each other again, Potter laying sprawled between them.

"Thanks," Lily said. "It was beginning to sound like it wouldn't end."

"I surmised as much," Severus said.

"So... Do you this often, or just when Potter's involved?" Lily asked in a quiet voice, still holding his gaze.

"Huh?"

"I mean- saving the damsel in distress. Is this a... hobby of yours? Or was it just because it was Potter?"

"Both," Severus answered, standing and breaking their gaze. "Because it usually involves Potter anyway."

Lily grinned. "Here, help me get him out of here. We can put him in a broom cupboard until he comes to his senses."

"He'll be in there a long time, then," Severus muttered viciously. Lily laughed.

Together they dragged James by his feet into the corridor and into a broom closet, propping him up into the sitting position.

They returned to the dungeon room and, with very minimal talking, began working on their potion again, Lily now in a surprisingly good mood, considering what had happened.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Moving Forward

"Alright, the deal is, it stews over Christmas at your house, but all you do is stir it once counter clockwise on the night before we come back to school."

They were both standing on the station platform, having spent the trip discussing the battle plan for their potion, alternating occasionally to what a prat Potter was, especially after he came in on them talking and Lily put a silencing charm on him before he could even speak. Severus didn't remember laughing quite so much in one day.

"Is there a contract I should be signing?" Severus asked sarcastically "do you have a pin I can prick my finger with so I can use my own blood?"

"Ha, ha," Lily said dryly, hitching her bag over her shoulder. "Just make sure you don't add anything. I know that potion as well as you do, so I'll be able to tell."

"You insult me," Severus replied, acting hurt.

"You deserve it!" Lily retorted gleefully, patting him on the shoulder patronizingly. "Happy Christmas, Sev. See you in January."

And she was off again, toward her muggle car, leaving Severus standing alone on the platform, trying to ignore his burning shoulder.

Christmas was to be spent at his uncle's. Severus had received an owl only shortly before term ended that his mother had left his father (again) and that she was residing at her brother Geoffrey's home for the time being. Because Severus didn't know what he'd preferred; staying at his father's house and not celebrating Christmas at all, and hearing his parents scream at each other all holiday instead, or having Christmas at his uncle Geoffrey's, where his mother would cry endlessly and Geoffrey would question everything about Severus, driving him to breaking point.

_Both seem rather appealing_, he thought sarcastically to himself as he sat down on a wooden bench inside the station to wait.

His uncle Geoffrey and his wife, Camilla, hated Severus' father. Actually, when he thought about it, Severus didn't care for Severus' father either, but it didn't help that Geoffrey was constantly insulting him, and wasn't allowing Severus to see him anymore. The fact that he was a muggle was good enough for Geoffrey, who was a great supporter of the pure blood tradition, and because he'd long-deemed Tobias Snape unacceptable for his sister Eileen, Geoffrey had taken it upon himself to act as Severus' role-model. Unfortunately, although Severus was the son of his uncle's little sister, Eileen's bad choices and Severus' parentage didn't often bode well in Geoffrey's eyes.

"I pity you, Severus, because you cannot help what you are. It isn't your fault you are half-filth," he was fond of saying, "but it is your responsibility to know how to rise up and out of those binds. You are half Prince, you know, and you must make that override the shame of being a Snape."

Geoffrey also had a large influence over Eileen, because as he continued to tolerate her bad decisions and allowed her to stay whenever she needed, she felt obligated to listen. However, when Geoffrey wanted to change Severus' name to Prince, Eileen wouldn't have it.

"He's Tobias' son too!" she'd wail. "His father's name is all he has!"

"And look what it's doing for his reputation!" Geoffrey would roar, pointing at Severus, who was almost always physically involved in these conversations. "The boy has no friends, his grades are slipping, he's thin as a weed-"

"No, Geoffrey. Severus will keep his name," Eileen would say shakily.

And that would be the end of it.

"Severus!" It hd now been an hour since the train had come in, and Severus, lost in his own thoughts, jumped at the sound of his name.

He turned to see his uncle, tall and solidly built, with a dark moustache and very severe eyebrows striding toward him.

Severus stood quickly, head bowed.

"How are you, boy? They treating you alright at Hogwarts?" Geoffrey boomed upon seeing his nephew. He was wearing his signature smile; the one where you couldn't tell what it meant until after he showed you.

Severus forced a smile and took his uncle's outstretched hand briefly.

"Come on now- we've got a portkey waiting outside." Geoffrey turned again and left without another word.

Severus grabbed his trunk and, careful to balance the cauldron, wheeled it out after him.

"Camilla, Eileen," Geoffrey called once they'd entered the house. "I'm back."

"Hello, darling," Camilla greeted him warmly at the door as a house elf took his cloak. "Severus, how are you?" Camilla asked without looking at him.

"Fine, thanks," Severus said quietly, following his aunt and uncle into the main sitting room.

"Where's Eileen?" Geoffrey demanded curiously, looking around the empty hall.

"She's gone to bed," Camilla answered dismissively. "Headache."

"Right," Geoffrey grunted, sitting himself down.

Severus remained awkwardly in the doorway, not knowing what to do or say.

Geoffrey conversed with his wife a moment, talking about a certain house elf, an issue at work, a letter he'd received from an old friend, before noticing Severus in the doorway.

"What are you waiting for?" he barked, making Severus jump. "Are you hungry?"

Severus licked his lips, and nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Well, then you know where the kitchen is, don't you? Go and have the house elves fix you something."

Severus nodded, thanked his uncle and hurried as fast as he could.

He exited the kitchen sometime later, feeling slightly better, though he couldn't shake off the nervous feeling the manor gave him. It was a tense feeling; the kind one feels when they never know what's coming. He decided the best thing to do would be to go straight to bed, rather than interrupting his uncle again, and tried to pass the entrance to the hall as quietly as he could.

"Severus!" he stopped at the sound of his name, and, shoulders sagged, returned to the doorway.

"Yes, uncle?" he asked dutifully.

"Come in here." Geoffrey was sitting in front of the fire, Camilla was nowhere to be seen.

Severus took in a deep breath and entered the room.

"Sit down," his uncle told him, indicating the chair opposite himself.

Severus sank down, and prepared his mental shield. He knew what was about to come; it would either be a speech about how filthy his descent was, how he tarnished the Prince name, or a reprimanding about his marks, or the owls they'd received about his fighting at school, which, consequently, would lead to a speech about how filthy his descent was and how he was tarnishing the Prince name. In order to receive as little of these rebukes as possible, Severus always prepared a list of things to think about that pleased him, so he would not lose his temper, or become too effected by his uncle's accusations.

Quidditch: Flying was a favourite pastime of his, even if Potter was much better at him.

Potions: he was very good in that class, even with Slughorn always picking out Evans.

Reading: Severus' time in the library, where no one could bother him, where even Potter wouldn't take the time to sabotage, was one of his other favourite things.

He would focus on these things with all his energy, though making sure to appear as if he was paying attention to his uncle at the same time.

"I received an owl, the other day, Severus."

"Oh?" Severus feigned surprise, frowning slightly.

"Yes. It was from your headmaster..."

Knowing that he wouldn't have the chance to speak for awhile, Severus lowered his eyes to the carpet in feigned shame, and let his mind wander to the first pleasant thought.

The image that crossed his mind first startled him so much that he jumped.

"Severus!" Geoffrey snapped. "What is wrong?"

Severus looked at his uncle as if seeing him for the first time.

"Sorry, Uncle. I think I was bitten by a spider or something."

"Foolish boy," Geoffrey growled. "Sit back down. A little spider should not make a boy of fifteen-"

_Sixteen, you dolt,_ Severus thought furiously to himself.

"-behave like that. Now, as I was saying..."

Severus stared, wide eyed, at the floor, not believing what his mind had brought forth as soon as he'd summoned a happy memory.

Evans, had swam before his eyes, smiling. The situation was irrelevant- she'd appeared nonetheless.

He blinked hard and tried to focus.

_Quidditch_, he told himself fiercely. _Think of Quidditch._

"... said you'd been having trouble with fighting at school. Why do you think it said that?"

Severus snapped up his head automatically and answered. "I'm not sure, Uncle."

Geoffrey raised his eyes.

"Oh really?" he said in mock surprise. "Well then, Severus, perhaps you can tell me why Albus Dumbledore has accused you of fighting with Agatha Black's son?"

Severus went cold. The Blacks were very well acquainted with the Princes. He almost always got in trouble for fighting with Sirius Black.

"Uncle, he provoked me. He's always provoking me. Him and that damn Potter-"

"The Potters," overrode Geoffrey, "as blood traitorous as they are, are a great source of authority inside the Ministry, and you should do well to know that!"

Severus opened his mouth to protest, but Geoffrey cut him off.

"You think that you can just waltz around the school, hexing our allies at will, and expect me to pick up the pieces!"

"I don't-"

"Perhaps you think because your father is a drunken muggle, too stupid and worthless to discipline you properly that you won't get in trouble for it, eh?"

"No-"

"Well I am your uncle, and at the moment, the closest thing you have for a chance to make something of yourself, so you'll not go disrespecting this family's name any further. I don't care if they," he paused, smiling cruelly at the memory, "hang you upside down and remove your underpants. You're not to retaliate. Better to have allies than enemies, Severus."

Severus was trembling from the injustice of it, but could see where this was headed. Geoffrey had been what some called a 'Signature Slytherin,' during his years at Hogwarts, constantly bullying the younger children. His favourite pastime, which had followed him out of school, had been luring his victims into a false sense of security; taking on a polished personality that portrayed dignity and good breeding. He also enjoyed acting fatherly toward Severus, using tough love, though caring. However, once his temper flared, he was worse than any muggle he could have described. And coincidentally, only those who lived inside his home ever saw that side.

"Do you understand, Severus?"

Severus bowed his head, trying to conceal the furious grimace on his face. He didn't have the energy to deal with Geoffrey's 'muggle face', as he liked to call it to himself. "Yes, Uncle."

"Good. Now go to bed."

Severus rose slowly and exited, walking as calmly as he could down the hall. He passed a room with a blue door, and paused. It was his mother's room. Cautiously, he reached for the handle and turned it. It was unlocked. Very quietly, he pushed the door open, looking around frantically to make sure no one was watching. Silently, he slipped inside the dark room, and pulled out his wand.

"_Lumos_," he whispered, lighting the room with his wand. His eyes flew to the bed, but saw that it was empty, and had not yet been slept in. He moved to look at the window, where a rocking chair was occupied by a slouching figure.

"Mother?" he asked softly, stepping forward when she didn't reply. "Mother? I'm back for Christmas holidays."

The figure stifled a sob.

Severus didn't move, unsure of what to do. Quickly he stepped to her side and kneeled to be at her height.

"School's fine, Mother. I'm getting top marks in potions. And Defence Against the Dark Arts," he added quickly, knowing it would please her.

Eileen Prince was covering her face with a woolen blanket, crying softly. Severus ploughed on, ignoring it. It was almost too easy, she did it so often. Eileen Prince had married young, in love with a dashing young muggle named Tobias. However, his resentment toward her powers as a witch, and Severus' rising powers as a wizard, gradually drove his affections away. He began to yell at Eileen, enjoying the feeling of making her and her son cower; enjoying a source of power that was compensation for a kind that he'd never have. Eileen began leaving Tobias regularly, staying with her brother. Severus had long since become accustomed to receiving owls indicating where he was to stay during a holiday, as well as not speaking to his father for long periods of time, and had learned how to talk to his mother through her consistent crying as if it were a normal thing. Certain aspects of this ridiculous family life were conscious to Severus; he knew his uncle was a prat, and that all the rubbish about him tainting the family name wasn't true. He knew why his mother cried, and that it was her fault. However, what did come sub-consciously to Severus was the fact that he was not acceptable to Geoffrey, and therefore he often tried however he could to gain his uncle's favour. He also didn't quite see that Geoffrey's place was a good place for his mother; all he saw was that she was sad, and her brother took care of her. Severus lived a half-blinded life at home, either always convincing himself he deserved better, or that he deserved much worse.

"I earned twenty points for Slytherin last Thursday," he offered, trying to per into his mother's face. No response.

Severus searched wildly for something to gain his mother's attention. He didn't know why he wanted it- he knew he'd probably go the whole rest of the holiday without seeing her, but he just wanted to talk once, just once before he had to face two weeks with Geoffrey. His mother had never struck him or shouted at him. Over the years she'd stopped holding or touching him, but Severus clung to the memories of when she had, and for that reason was very fond of his sad mother.

"I- I... I've met a girl, Mother." Severus said it very quickly, wondering if he'd made a mistake. Sometimes he'd make things up, just to get a reaction from her. He was lying, of course, but if he got her attention, he could go on talking about other things.

Eileen stopped crying. Her large, dark eyes peeked out over the top of her blanket and stared at him.

"Her name is Lily," he said quickly, feeling a rush of relief inside him. "Lily Evans. She's my potions partner, and we're making a potion for invisibility. It was difficult, but I did some research in the library and-"

"Is she pureblood?" Eileen uttered out a raspy whisper.

"- I found- what?"

"The girl- is she pureblood?"

Severus felt his shoulders sag.

"Well, she's brilliant, you see. Almost better than me in potions."

"Answer me, Severus."

Severus remained as quiet as he could for as long as he could.

"No, Mother. She's muggle-born."

Eileen let out a wail that forced Severus to clamp his hands over his ears.

"Mother! Wait! Let me explain!"

Eileen recovered quickly, grabbing Severus by his shoulders.

"You mustn't! Your Uncle- you mustn't!"

"Mother! It's nothing! We- we're potion partners and that's all!"

"You will not speak of her again, Severus," Eileen hissed, bringing her face very close to his. "Never again."

Severus opened his mouth to protest, but Eileen fell back again, covering her face with her blanket.

Severus, once again trembling from shock and anger, rose and left the room swiftly.

He collapsed in bed some time later, hating how this place made him feel so damn vulnerable. He wanted to go, to run. _I'd take my father any day after this place, _he thought savagely. He tried to let his mind wander to happier things, but all he could think of was all the things he wasn't allowed to do. Retaliate whenever Potter and Black felt like tormenting him... well that was rubbish. He couldn't just roll over like that- what would Lily-

With that he froze. _Next topic_, he told himself.

And his mother was so pathetic... at least his father would ignore him. Drink himself to sleep and pass out on the sofa. Then Severus could watch a bit of muggle television and eat what he wanted...

It wasn't fair that he couldn't even talk to Li-

_Stop it,_ he told himself furiously. _She's not worth the time of day to think about, so stop._ Deducing that to the amount of time he'd been forced to spend with Evans, Severus rolled over and decided the best thing to do would be to clear his mind altogether. That was the last thing he thought of before drifting into a restless sleep.

Potter and Black were flipping him over and over in the air, spinning him like a top. Geoffrey and Agatha Black were laughing, drinking firewhiskey which Eileen was serving them off a woolen blanket, Lily was watching, looking furious.

"Stop them!" she told him. "Stand up to them!"

"I can't!" Severus protested. "My Uncle-"

"Fine then- I'll do it!" Lily snapped, pulling out a wand that looked very much like a cauldron ladle.

"No!" Eileen was shrieking. "Don't! You'll kill him!"

Lily raised her ladle to stop him spinning, and Geoffrey shot out the tip of it, cursing and pointing his finger. He circled around Severus, screaming at him unintelligibly, and turned back toward Lily, arms outstretched.

"No!" Severus shouted, sitting upright in bed. Panting heavily, he looked around him. He was in his empty bedchamber. It had all been a dream. A stupid dream, with ladles and spinning tops and... Evans, playing the hero as usual.

Severus took one last deep breath before falling back on his pillows.

Christmas passed quickly, Severus keeping his head bowed, unresponsive and claiming always to have homework to do. Christmas morning (void of Eileen, who was becoming increasingly less social), included a gift for him, of course, as no Prince would go without a gift, though a speech from his Uncle about Wizarding fineries as compared to muggle trinkets accompanied it. However, it was an invisibility cloak, something Severus had heard rumours about Potter owning, and was actually quite excited to receive.

Geoffrey had very little to do with Severus during the two weeks he stayed there, and so Severus took to staying in his room and doing homework, as well as visiting his mother by night.

Eileen however, barely spoke anymore, and had taken to ignoring Severus. She barely cried, and didn't seem to remember her son at all. She was becoming less and less coherent, and Severus was worried she might be sick. He considered going to his uncle about it, but Geoffrey seemed very tense and on edge, however, and Severus had twice walked in on his speaking in very low tones to his wife, who now walked around with a very pale pallor. Due to this, Severus decided to wait until the last moment to breach the subject of his mother with Geoffrey. However, that moment never really came.

On the night before Severus was to return to school, Geoffrey planned a dinner which was to bring distinguished guests to the Prince Manor.

"Three important families, all having been friends with the Princes for generations," announced Geoffrey, applying his Merlin complex with extra gusto. The 'friends,' Severus later learned, consisted of the Malfoys, Regus, his wife Dido and their son, Lucius as well as his fiance Narcissa. As well, the Lestrange family and their son Rodolphus were to attend. Severus didn't think that was too bad, and even surmised he could sit through it with minimal torture on his part. Then it happened.

As he was climbing into his dress robes, shouting came from down the hall. Quickly fastening the silver clasp, Severus hurried down the hall to where the sound was coming from; his mother's room.

Geoffrey was standing over his sister, screaming at her and shaking a handful of silvery material, what Severus could only guess were the dress robes she was refusing to wear to the party she was refusing to attend.

"I WILL NOT BE MADE A FOOL OF, EILEEN! THE FAMILIES WHICH WILL BE IN ATTENDANCE TONIGHT-"

"Are extremely beneficial to this family, I know Geoffrey," Eileen finished for him in a tired voice. "But I simply can't bring myself to it tonight. Tell them I have a headache."

Geoffrey looked affronted. "I will NOT tell them- Agatha Black will think-"

"What?" Severus heard himself gasp. "The- the Blacks are coming?"

"Yes, they're coming! So you can apologize to their son for what you've been doing all year-"

"What!" Severus couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I will not-"

"Don't you dare argue with me, boy," Geoffrey snarled, rounding on him. "I'm having enough of a time dealing with your idiot of a mother-"

Severus flushed angrily.

"Don't you- don't call her-"

"What?" Geoffrey sneered, "and idiot? That's what she is, if you haven't already noticed. My idiotic baby sister. Marries a muggle and expects me to pick her up when everything falls apart. To raise her son, who walks around, arrogantly hexing those who we depend on-"

"I do NOT hex Black and Potter for no good reason!"

Geoffrey had gone purple in his face, which went well with his green dress robes. "Get out, Severus, before I do something I'm going to regret," he whispered.

Severus didn't move. Fists clenched, he looked from his uncle to his mother, who had gone quite white in the face.

"GET OUT!"

Severus paused for a moment before turning on his heel and leaving without another word, again, trembling with an anger he didn't know he had.

He slammed the door to his bedroom, wincing at the loud BANG it made and hoping it didn't send his uncle after him. Geoffrey had hit him before, a few times, for being cheeky, and he almost always made sure there was a mark so Severus would remember for next time.

Severus was suddenly distracted from the disturbing thoughts by a loud hoot from the window.

And owl was perched on his sill, a roll of parchment attached to its leg.

Wondering who would send him post, as he never got it unless it was his uncle, Severus hurried over and untied the parchment, unrolling it.

_Severus,_

_Hi! Hope your Christmas is going well- mine's alright, got mostly money (but that'll be good for Hogsmeade trips, won't it?) I'm just writing to make sure you remember to stir the potion once counterclockwise tonight at three am. I know you'd have remembered without my help, and you can tell me off for it when we get back to school, but I just couldn't resist. Oh, and make sure the fire keeps burning. Again, I know you know, but I can't help it, being the insufferable know-it-all I am... Anyway, hope you have a good rest of Holidays. If you run into any problems, please, please, PLEASE owl me- my address is at the bottom. _

_See you on the train tomorrow,_

_Lily._

Severus rolled it up, unaware of the smile on his face. He'd almost forgotten the Sirius Black would be in his home tonight.

"SEVERUS!"

Geoffrey's call indicated that the guests were there, and Severus tucked his parchment quickly inside his robes before hurrying downstairs.

Dinner went surprisingly without error. Eileen had won the battle and Geoffrey made her excuses for her, going red in the face with every question Agatha Black made. Sirius Black ignored Severus, looking very reluctant to be there as it was, and Severus conversed lightly with Lucius over his new job at the Ministry.

It wasn't until the after-dinner brandy that things got awkward.

"I cannot allow my sons to drink brandy at their ages," Agatha laughed haughtily when Geoffrey offered them to join in. "They're far too young- especially Regulus."

"And Severus shouldn't be having any anyway," Camilla said softly to her husband, laughing her tinkling laugh.

Geoffrey nodded. "Of course. How silly of me. Severus," he commanded, "why don't you take Sirius and Regulus and show them the Manor?"

Severus ignored the furious twisting of his insides, and nodded.

"Yes, Uncle."

As the adults exited into the Billiard room, Black leaned over to Severus.

"Well then, _Snivellus,_ why not show us your lovely manor?"

Severus shoved his hands into his robes pockets, and brushing the letter from Evans by accident. Suddenly, at the thought of his potion brewing, and the thought of joking about Black and Potter with her on the train, he felt he could handle this.

"Right," he muttered, "this way."

He showed them around the manor awkwardly, ignoring Black's malicious comments with a thought to potions and train rides every so often.

"And this corridor is all the bedrooms," Severus said in a monotone voice, turning to lead them away.

"Well what about this door?" Black asked, gesturing toward a dark blue one. "What makes it so special that it has a different colour to it?"

"Never mind," Severus said savagely, stepping in front of the door, glaring at Black. "It's my uncle's room. He doesn't want anyone in it."

"You know what I think?" Black said conversationally, stepping away from the door and starting for the far corridor. Severus followed him, relieved.

"What?"

"I think you're a snivelling little liar," Black sneered, doubling back suddenly and wrenching the door open.

"No!" Severus reached out to stop him, but Black stepped into the room and looked around. Regulus hesitated in the hallway while Severus shoved him aside to get into the room.

In the corner of the room sat Eileen, rocking in her chair and gazing quietly out the window. She didn't even acknowledge the action occurring inside her own bedroom.

Black stood there, staring agape.

"Snivellus," he asked incredulously, "is this your _mother_?"

Severus clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to control his breathing.

"I say, I can see now where you get your good looks!" Black sneered, laughing. "But from the looks of it, she still hasn't gotten over the shock of your birth... or existence, for that matter. Evening, Ma'am."

Eileen didn't reply, nor did she acknowledge Black's presence.

Sirius took a few steps around her, circling her, and peered into her face. Severus tried to stop his body trembling, failing miserably. _Ignore, ignore, ignore..._

Sirius laughed suddenly, waving his hand in front of Eileen's face. "Blimey, Snivelly, your uncle said she was ill, but I didn't think he mean up _there,_" he sneered, tapping his temple mockingly.

Severus lunged at him, unable to take it anymore. Black was knocked to the ground, completely by surprise. He got a good couple punches across Black's face before Regulus started yelling for his mother, which distracted Severus. Black took a violent swing at him, as he looked away, catching Severus in the jaw, but he was too enraged to notice. Severus returned to trying to kill Black, wrapping his hands around his neck, and hardly noticed when the adults arrived. Agatha began screaming bloody murder and Geoffrey's strong hands pulled Severus off of his nemesis. Severus struggled against Geoffrey, swearing a violent stream of obscenities which caused Narcissa to cover her ears in horror.

Black scrambled up, looking genuinely shocked.

Geoffrey threw Severus to the floor and gave him such a murderous glare that he didn't dare move. Turning to his guests, Geoffrey smiled, and, apologizing, mentioned that it was getting late and perhaps it was time everyone went home.

Everyone left, and Severus and Eileen were alone. Severus, knowing well what was to come next, scrambled over to his mother, and looked into her face pleadingly.

"Mum," he said in a low voice, "when Uncle Geoffrey comes back, you have to stop him."

Eileen didn't seem to hear him.

"Mum! Geoffrey's coming back- you have to stop him getting mad at me. Tell him to leave me alone!" Severus said frantically to his mother, trying to get through to her.

"You look so much like your father," Eileen said softly, still not looking at him. "So much like Edward."

"What is wrong with you?" Severus burst out suddenly, standing up.

And then he looked into his mother's glassy eyes, and remembered Geoffrey earlier that evening, telling him to get out. The door slamming, and the eery quiet that had followed.

"What did he do to you?" Severus whispered to his mother, who didn't seem to hear.

The bedroom door slammed behind him, telling him that Geoffrey was back.

Severus rounded to face him. "What did you do to her?" he yelled.

"I take you in, raise you like a son, and this is how you repay me?" Geoffrey hissed, stepping forward.

"What did you do to my mother?" Severus asked, reaching inside his robes for his wand.

"Why do you care, boy? It isn't like she ever took care of you in the first place. Useless, stupid woman, my sister. Never listened to reason, never. She's happier like this- keep her memory wiped regularly-" Geoffrey's face was frighteningly red, his eyes wide and his smile very, very false. But Severus didn't notice. He was too angry.

"You did more than that," Severus said mutinously. "You've done something to her brain."

"Don't think on it, boy," Geoffrey ignored him, seeing instead Severus's hand inside his robes and reaching in for his own. "You don't know what you're getting into."

In a split second both of them had drawn their wands, Geoffrey crying "_Crucio!_" and Severus screaming "_Expelliarmus!_"

The spells hit each other and both their wands went flying. They both stood facing each other, hatred etched in both faces.

Then, in one swift movement, Geoffrey reached out and hit Severus across the face.

"Mother!" Severus panted, backing up. "Mother, tell him-"

Eileen rocked back and forth gently, humming to herself and gazing out the window.

Severus backed up against it, Geoffrey scooped up his wand, looming over him.

Severus closed his eyes.

When Lily boarded the train her first instinct was to find Severus. She needed to see the potion- she needed to make sure her potion was ok. Dragging her trunk behind her, Lily carefully made her way through each compartment until she almost came to the end of the train, where the compartments were emptier. Reaching the last car, Lily peered in through the door and saw him.

Severus had moved swiftly through the train, the hood to his cloak pulled up, eager beyond words to find a quiet place where he could be alone. The thought that Evans might want to make sure the potion was alright didn't even cross his mind.

Lily grinned a little as she slid open the door. The sight of Severus, whom she'd grown uncharacteristically fond of, despite his snarky attitude and pureblood complexes, cheered her a bit after having to walk across the parking lot in the pouring rain.

"Lo," she said brightly. "Don't mind me sitting here, do you? I just want to see how the potions getting on."

"Fine," Severus mumbled, looking as if he were trying to sleep. He gestured to the cauldron, which had been carefully sealed and now perched on the set opposite.

"Up late last night?" Lily asked conversationally, pulling out her wand.

"Huh?" Severus asked irritably, keeping his face well hidden beneath his hood.

"It's just-" Lily was bent over the cauldron, peering into it, "you look kind of tired."

"Of course I'm tired," Severus snapped, "I was up at three stirring that damn potion counter clockwise."

"Dost thine ears deceive me?" Lily said mockingly, turning to him. "Did Severus Snape just denounce a potion?"

Severus allowed himself a grin, though she couldn't see it.

"No, seriously, what's with the hood?" Lily asked, settling herself on the seat opposite him, "it's raining outside, not in."

"Thank you for that," Severus snapped again. "Now, if you're done with the potion I'm sure you have other people you could be bothering.

"True," Lily admitted, getting the hint, "but you're much more fun."

"I'm flattered," Severus retorted dryly.

"Well, I'll be on my way then," Lily sighed, standing. "Oh, and Sev? Do you mind if I call you Sev?"

"Yes," Severus muttered bitterly.

"Great. Well, since you took care of the potion all holiday, I'll write the report. It's the least I can do."

"Oh no you don't," he said suddenly, almost jerking his head up. Instead, he pretended to be fluffing the sweater he was using as a pillow. "We'll do that together as well."

"Fine," Lily said dismissively. "I just thought I'd do you a favour."

"Thank you, but no thank you."

"Well, cheers, _Sev_," she added scathingly, though when Severus looked up, she was grinning.

He waited silently for a few moments, making sure she was gone before sitting up and pulling off his hood. He stared into the window, as it had gone dark already at five, and glared at his reflection. He'd whipped up a quick anti-swelling potion with the ingredients from the family potion set that resided in the Prince's kitchen, and he peered into his reflection to see if it had worked.

His face was a sore, aching mess of cuts, bruises and a rather large bump on his forehead.

Geoffrey's built up tension over the last few weeks prior to Severus arriving had been released indefinitely the night previous. Severus was so sore, he could barely move for the bruises on his arms and back. It hadn't been too bad, considering, but Severus had left feeling incredibly angry and frustrated. Geoffrey had done something to his mother- perhaps a memory charm that was a little too strong?- and now she was sitting in her room at the Prince Manor, completely unguarded, at her brother's hands. Severus had never felt so powerless. As he'd attempted painful sleep that night, he'd thought seriously about running away, ifnot for his strong desire to return to Hogwarts. Then, as Geoffrey escorted him to the station the next morning, he'd stopped Severus and looked meaningfully into his eyes.

"I know I've been rather harsh with you of late," he stated modestly, "but you know that anything I do I do for your own good."

Severus had remained silent- he was so close to getting back to Hogwarts, away from Geoffrey, he didn't want to say anything to ruin that.

"Things are ahead of you, Severus," Geoffrey had told him in a fatherly tone which had made Severus tremble with anger. "Great things. Your mother will be remaining with me at Prince Manor from now on," he announced sternly. "It is your home now."

"And- my father?" Severus had ventured to ask.

A cloud had passed over Geoffrey's face at that. "You'll not be seeing him anymore, Severus. Like I said," he raised his voice to cover Severus' coming protest, "great things are ahead for you. I am making sure of that. But you need to obey me. You want to make your mother proud, don't you?"

Severus now shut his eyes and rested his head against the window, trying to stop the childish tears from forming. All he felt was hate. Hate for that man, hate for his mother for being so vulnerable, hate for his father for being what he was, hate for the great things he was now bound to. He wanted to fix things, to help his mother, though he knew she wouldn't be in any real danger with Geoffrey- she was just mindless now. The thought of her losing her mind made him clench his fists, despite the fact that, as Camilla had said, she didn't think of how sad she was anymore. Severus wanted nothing more than to never return, to have his own memory wiped of his pathetic excuse for a family.

His reverie was burst by the sound of a glass door sliding open. Severus turned, horrified that someone might see his watery eyes, forgetting completely about his face.

"Sorry, I know you're trying to sleep, but I forgot my trunk- clever, huh. I-" Lily gasped suddenly, upon seeing him. She covered her mouth with her hand, eyes wide, then seemed to calm completely. It all happened in a matter of seconds. She took it all in, her expression shocked and furious. She took a few swift steps and sat across from him, glaring.

"Who did that to you?" she demanded quietly.

"No-one. Leave it." he tugged his hood up over his face again and tried to turn away, which was difficult as their seats were facing each other.

Lily pulled it down again, grabbing his hand and gripping it, studying the damage.

"Who did it, Sev?" her eyes bore into him, demanding explanation.

"I told, you no one!" he snarled, tearing his face away. "And don't call me that."

"Ok, so you decided to knock yourself around this holiday? Just like every holiday since I've met you? Just answer me this, _Sev_. How come it gets worse every year?"

Anger and humiliation bubbled up inside his chest, and Snape grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking them. The fact that she'd noticed before was worse than her noticing now, somehow.

"Shut up! Just shut up, ok? Why can't you just mind your own fucking business!"

The surprise in her eyes caused him to let go, and guilt came glowing back, washing over the anger. He let go of her and his arms dropped listlessly to his sides. Geoffrey's face swam before him, sneering.

"I'm sorry."

But she hadn't seemed to notice. Instead, she frowned slightly, and gazed up at him.

"You know, I always assumed it was Potter who had done those things. But now, I mean, I know it couldn't have been him."

Snape sighed.

"Can we just leave it?"

Lily nodded, but the look on her face told him she wasn't going to.

"You're allowed to be vulnerable you know. It's just me."

"Yes, I'll keep that in mind, thanks." he replied sarcastically.

Lily sighed.

"C'mon, let's get you cleaned up. I mean honestly, Sev- a master of potions but if I ever see you perform a single proper healing spell I'll die of shock."

Severus nodded wordlessly, trying to ignore the twisting feeling in his stomach when she kneeled between his legs and readied her wand.

Gently tracing the cuts, she vanished them one by one, then, unable to mend the bruises, summoned a cooling pack. Severus closed his eyes, mostly because he didn't like her staring at him like that.

She rested the pack on his largest bruise; a lump nearly the size of a snitch above his right eyebrow. And she held it there while searching his eyes for something- anything.

He averted them, embarrassed.

"Thank you," he muttered, taking the pack himself.

"Anytime," Lily whispered, removing her hand slowly, brushing his cheek as she stood.

"I'm going to change," she said over her shoulder, already out the door.


End file.
